The day that I died

The day that I died was just like I remembered it,

My mind had finally fallen into an unending chaotic abyss, and it shattered into a billion pieces right before my  eyes.
Shattered pieces of me kept spinning in my head, banging against the deep cuts on my fractured mind, driving me madder with excruciating pain.

I couldn't contain the pain anymore and in a desperate attempt to hold on to my life, I reached for my phone reaching out to the few people who seemed to genuinely care about me; I was ready to let down my walls, I was ready to let somebody in...I had to, I was dying, I needed to be saved. Each text a desperate cry for help, every "Hi" and "Hello" was a silent scream, I was silently yelling "Please, hear me, Save me! Save me! Save me please, I can't even pray help me! I can't keep a steady thought, help me! I'm breaking from the inside...."

"....Please…"

But all I got was silence, no reply...maybe  they were all busy, they have lives of their own to live after all, they can't be there at my beck and call... But I wish that just one, just..one of the few people that I felt that I could let in had picked up their phone that day, I would have let them in, they could have held my my hand, they could have helped me stand a while longer, they could have helped me to pray, and maybe I would have seen another day.

But instead, here I lay, my lungs a lifeless vacuum…and they are all here, all the people who could have had a chance to help me,  to save me. They are all here today, I can hear them all pray the same prayer, "Oh God why? Why did you take her away? I wish you had given me the chance to help her stay..."

And like I remember it, on the day that I died, I had prepared the last verse of my poetry to accompany me into the abyss... and the reading of my last words was their undoing, it read:


Good bye

I'm cold,
I'm Freezing cold.

Dont think I never said, 'cause I always told;
 And nomatter when the story will be spoken off, its still old.

Silence,
Nothing but the sound of slow pounding, That thomping sound lets me know that I still have time, and every second Im counting.

I wonder,
How did I lose myself??
I just cant recall when I became someone else.
I am still waiting for my senses to shut down.Then. I hear bells.

Smoke,
I am fading away, but I hear laughter around me like the life thats passing is all a joke.
Now, I am like like the sleep walker that they will be told about who never awoke.

I am reduced to nothing but dust that is blown away by the winds of time,
I am gone,
And those who claim to love me cast the first stones, that broke my body to ashes and bones.
Goodbye.