Life on the bloody highway

I stared straight  ahead like a woman possesed as the trees flew past me in blurry lines of green and brown . I slowly reached for the bright red buckle, it's redness reflecting the colour of my soul. My mind kept chanting;

"Blood...blood..jump...pain...end".

And then..

"Splat!" There was a bloody master piece on the highway. Painted with anguish and brain matter.

"Red...maroon...darker...darker...BLACK, blank"

My soul  went from fiery red to blank in a split second. It then let out a sigh of relief as it anxiously streched out its arms to death and peacefully  started fading away into nothingness.

I had done it again. I had committed suicide ice in the way that I was the most curious about, I had jumped out of a car that was going 200km/hour on the highway and I felt alive, again.

"Hun ? Are you okay? You're  doing that thing again. You're scaring me" My poor partner replied, with a face that looked like fear itself had crept onto it and set up camp.

"I'm okay my love...I'm okay..." I replied. I pulled on the seatbelt to make sure that I was buckled in safely. I felt alive, again after my ten seconds of suicide.  "How shall I die next?  'Cause dancing at death' s door in my head always seems to remind me that I am in fact  still... Alive.